During a conversation today with a friend, we discussed diets, such as the warrior diet, ketosis, four-hour body (low/slow carb), and others.

Afterward it struck me that this paralled a conversation at work yesterday (I write software).

We have, when looking at a goal or task, a tendency to leap immediately into the how – the best way to do X, what the experts say about Y, which is faster, more effective, cheaper, etc., but we spend almost no attention on why.

As a programmer, I often find myself starting to go in circles when writing code. In fact, this just happened on Tuesday, when I forced myself to get away from my computer and go sprawl out on the living room floor with pieces of paper, where I changed my focus to what the purpose of the software is, not – as I had been thinking about – what data I had to convert.

Without going further into the technical details, it was a turnaround point for me. My focus became the why – the purpose – of the task, not the how – the implementation. Ironically enough, the implementation became much clearer, and my rate of progress at least doubled.

Back to the point about diets: go to a magazine stand (go ahead, right now; I’ll wait), and look at the magazine covers. Dozens of advice about exercise and diets, much of it good, but it’s all about the how.

Where is the why?

And that is what led me down this mental path: we struggle with the how – the implementation – because we don’t really know the why. I can think of approximately zero articles in “fitness” magazines that even mention, much less emphasize, the reason to be healthier. Oh sure, vague things like “to look better at the beach” … but what is the reason to look better? Could that be an end in itself?

Maybe for some, but I doubt that many are narcissistic enough to make constant sacrifices of pleasure for that end, especially since that is giving other people the responsibility of determining our own value, a recipe for resentment, bitterness, and occasional acts of defiance.

So, imagining that you are trying to impress no one else, why would fitness (or beauty or achievements or wealth) matter?

Do you notice that you tend to enjoy more the things you do for yourself – even harmful things, such as overeating – rather than what you do for others?

So flip the argument around.

Why play video games? Or watch a movie? Or listen to music? That’s right, for one’s own enjoyment. The why is in one’s self-interest, not that of other people.

So I suggest looking at your goals, and instead of thinking about trying to impress others, determine how those goals would express ourselves.

Expressions, not impressions.

What does that mean?

Some examples:

  • Diet because you want to express self-control.
  • Exercise because you want to express discipline.
  • Read because you want to express curiosity.
  • Work because you want to express productivity.
  • Help because you want to express compassion.

And that redirects the focus onto the whys, which are what truly govern our decisions.

What do you care what other people think? – Arline Feynman (to Richard Feynman)

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